My Diabetes ‘Why’: Turning Pain into Purpose

A story of my family curse, shock, compliance, “deniability”, challenges, purpose, and perseverance.

Photo Credit: New York City by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

Finding My Why

People often ask me “why” I spend so much time talking about diabetes, why I advocate, and why I care so deeply.

The truth is, I didn’t always. For years, diabetes was just something I had. Something I tried to work on, ignore, manage halfway, and set aside while life moved on. Cut to the chase, the shit will eventually hit the fan. Trust me on this one.

However, diabetes doesn’t like to be ignored, which I could discuss in depth. Eventually, it forces you to face it — one way or another.

My “why” comes from the pain of that reckoning, several times. The lessons I learned in survival through the emotional and physical challenges I have caused to myself, my marriage, and my family, and the purpose I’ve found on the other side.

I am sharing this early, but I think it helps set the tone.

When I came across Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why,” it completely changed how I looked at my own journey. Until then, I thought my job was just to manage diabetes — check the numbers, take the meds, try to stay afloat. But Sinek made me stop and ask myself why I was really doing it all. That simple question shifted everything. My “why” wasn’t just about staying alive — it was about living with purpose, helping others, and turning something painful into something that matters.

The Day Everything Changed

I still remember the day I was first diagnosed. The fluorescent lights, the sterile smell of the exam room, the doctor said I needed to get some blood work, which I was like, “ugh.” Two days later, the office called for me to set up an immediate follow-up appointment due to my fasting blood sugar numbers being in the high 300s. My father, my paternal grandmother, and recently, my mother, all were diagnosed with diabetes, with my father having serious challenges. The doctor instructed me to sit around as I had been diagnosed with a serious-sounding heart murmur (early tipoff, it was a bicuspid valve that was congenital and likely genetic).

Part of me thought, I’ll take a few pills, cut out the sugar, and be fine. As long as I make a few changes, I should be able to handle this. However, deep down, something inside me said, ‘This is going to change everything.‘ Watching my father, and members of his family, as well as my Godfather (mom’s brother), pass from diabetes in his late twenties, laid on me.

At first, I did what most people do — followed the rules for a while, then slowly slipped back into some old habits, then back to following the rules. I didn’t see the danger yet. I was too busy living life, having a wife I adored, raising a family, and too young to feel the fragility of diabetes.

When I Started Letting Go

There came a time when I just stopped. I “quit diabetes,” at least in my mind. That was when my marriage fell apart in 2006, and 2007 was worse. It was horrible. Dad died from diabetes, due to CKD, which caused pulmonary edema and congestive heart failure, and then there was a lot of shit towards me. Now is not the time for that story, but there is a considerable gap that I will someday share. The diabetes story is a side story to all of this.

I left the Lehigh Valley in Pennsylvania and moved back in with my mom. This situation became a significant burden on both my emotional well-being and physical health. I lost fifty pounds, the anxiety was a challenge, and I was diagnosed with ADHD, while working in pharmaceutical advertising, where I went through five jobs in seven years. Foreshadowing to another post on “My Neurodivergence Story, and Diabetes.”E

Eventually, I was a dad every other weekend and a workaholic, going out with my coworkers a few times a week in New Jersey and New York City. I was dating someone, attending New York Mets games, and found joy again. The problem was that I stopped checking my blood sugar levels. I stopped caring about food choices, and alcohol had too much of a presence. I stopped scheduling appointments. I told myself I’d “get back on track next month.” But next month never came.

Looking back, I wasn’t being lazy — I was emotionally, mentally, and physically tired. Tired of the daily grind, the numbers, the guilt. And I didn’t want to face what diabetes was doing to me inside.

But diabetes doesn’t quit just because you do. I learned that it is like having another person control you if you do not choose to prevent it.

When “It” Hit the Fan

Then came the wake-up call — or rather, a series of them.

I moved up to the Finger Lakes Region of Western New York in August of 2013 to marry Kerri. I had left diabetes and forgotten about it. Due to the lack of work, in March 2014, I found work in New York City, and then commuted to my Mom’s on Sunday nights through Friday mornings, returning home after work on Friday.

For a while, I was doing well; life was good, and there was some rhythm, but it worked. Then, in the fall of 2015, I found I could not see my computer screen due to issues with my eyes, and I was having on-and-off respiratory problems. In January 2015, I was diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy, and then in February, I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure from my bicuspid aortic valve. So the pathway of getting shots in my eyes started six weeks after open-heart surgery. The OHS actually saved my life, as when the surgeon checked the arteries, three appeared blocked, and this did not come up during any cardiovascular test—simply, fixing the leaky valve identified other issues, saving my life.

During this time, in 2015, I was also diagnosed with diabetic peripheral neuropathy. In 2019, I was diagnosed with chronic/diabetic kidney disease. In 2024, I was diagnosed with periperial arterial disease and peripheral venous disease after I had infections on my left leg, then left foot that wouldn’t heal, due to poor circulation. The surgeon inserted a stent into the artery in my left leg, but the infection just would not heal.

It hit me one day, suddenly, I wasn’t just managing diabetes — I was managing its consequences, initially in 2015, but then in 2019 and 2024.

I’ll never forget the day the doctor told me I’d lose my toes on my left foot. My mind went silent. There was no room for anger or fear — just the hope that this procedure would help resolve the infection issue. It was learning how to walk, with a walker, climbing steps, and other painful things, so that I could go home. Thankfully, it was only three days.

Losing a physical part of yourself, no matter how small, alters your perspective on everything.

I thought I was doing okay in taking care of myself. However, my incomplete actions years earlier contributed to and exacerbated the arterial issue. Done years earlier. The “deflector shields” failed, and the phasers pierced me badly.

This invisible disease provided a brutal reminder that ignoring diabetes doesn’t make it disappear; it only gives it control and makes it stronger.

A Long Road Back

After the amputation, recovery became my new full-time job. 2024 was a year of infections, setbacks, including a broken right hip, and tiny victories where simply surviving brought a smile to my face. Yet, every day felt like I was starting over.

And then came another challenge — a double hernia surgery this past October, due to my broken hip. Just when I thought I’d caught my breath, my life took another turn, with another challenge. Again. The pain became literally unbearable, and I later found out I was approaching an unsafe condition.

But this time, something was different. I made the choice that I wasn’t just surviving; I was thriving, and I was fighting. This surgery can be elective, but due to the pain level, which surprisingly became thankfully unbearable.

Every appointment, every wound dressing, every small step forward was a statement: Is this it? But I’m not done yet.

By 2025, I began to see recovery not as a return to who I used to be, but as a literal transformation. I was rebuilding from the inside out — physically, emotionally, spiritually.

My mission and purpose became clearer, but now it was time to make it a value not only to me, but also to others.

Why I Advocate

Out of all this pain came purpose. My advocacy is how I make sense of it.

I fight for others living with diabetes because I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, to feel like the disease is winning, lying in a hospital bed, unable to move.

I share my what is now seen as nearly a thirty-year story not for sympathy, but for connection — so that someone else might see themselves in my struggle and realize it’s never too late to fight back.

Over time, I’ve come to define my work as a three-part mission:

Empowerment – Encouraging people to speak up, ask questions, and be active partners in their own care.
Influencing Policy Policy – Pushing for systems that treat diabetes as the grave, global crisis it is — not just a “lifestyle problem.”
Awareness & Education – Helping people see that they, or others around them, may be at risk, and truly understand what diabetes can do, and how much power they have to manage it.

This mission around diabetes, related chronic conditions, including mental health, and complications keeps me grounded. It turns pain into action. It’s my way of saying, I’m still here, and I’m still fighting.

Lessons I’ve Learned

If there’s one thing diabetes has taught me, it’s humility. You can try to outsmart this disease, which at times, you can, but you mostly need to understand it and respect it, which may be a hard pill to swallow.

Consistency beats perfection. Missing one test or one meal plan doesn’t ruin you. Learning how to adjust helps, but giving up will give this disease all of the power.
Ask for help. Diabetes is complicated, and no one should carry it alone. Through your healthcare professionals, dietitians & nutritionists, CDEs, local and online support groups, and trained advocates.
- ***Please be cautious of tips from people offering cures or groups that are not certified in any way. Type 1 diabetes today is not curable, and type 2 diabetes can lead to remission, but it is only through a complete life change and lifelong consistency.
Celebrate small wins. Every time you choose to care for yourself, you’re rewriting your story and hopefully dismissing or delaying serious challenges.

My Why

So, what’s my “why”? My “why” is simple:

To live — as thoroughly as possible, but mostly with purpose.
To influence and fight for those who cannot or find their voice with policymakers.
To help others live better through awareness and education.
To ensure that no one faces this disease alone.

Diabetes has taken literal pieces of me, but it’s also given me reason to live and to speak out loud. It’s taught me what resilience really means — not perfection, not control, but refusal to give up.

And as long as I have a voice, I’ll keep using it — for those who are still finding their own “why.”

💬 Closing Thought

Diabetes isn’t the end of the story. Like any chronic condition, what drives you is just the beginning of learning and amplifying who you are.

MyDiabetesWhy #Type2Diabetes #DiabetesAwareness #DiabetesStory #DiabetesAdvocate #ChronicIllnessJourney #LivingWithDiabetes #DiabetesCommunity #DiabetesSupport #HealthResilience #StartWithWhy #DiabetesEducation #DiabetesInspiration

💙 My Diabetes “Why” 💙